Mandala of Sound

Choying Drolma

　　(Brief introduction by Professor Tsao, Pen-Yeh Benny)

　　First of all I would really like to express my humble respect to all the professors here, the teachers, senior students. I love you all.

　　Even though it is considered like a lecture, but it isn’t and I wouldn’t consider it as a lecture. I hope it would just be a simple discussion where I would like to introduce myself, my point of view, which is not necessarily to be the one that you actually believe.

　　So where do I begin? Well, I am a nun, a Buddhist nun. You can see that people know me as a singing nun. Mostly in Nepal, and different part of the world, they consider me a singing nun. That’s how I am known. I love to sing. But I never really sang to become a singer. As we are, everybody the same human being, we all wish for the same thing in our lives which is of course to be happy in life. And I also wanted to be happy. And for such a reason I chose to become a nun. Probably many of you might be wondering why did I become a nun.

　　And a little story about how I happened to become a singer, as you can see a so called singer, a public singer. When we are in the monastery, we join a nunnery, we have to attend a kind of ritual ceremony every day. These ceremonies and prayers are conducted in a very melodious way. I always had the interest to learn more melodious things, melodies. And I always try to learn them very passionately, and try to sing them always very melodiously and as sweetly as possible. Somehow my teacher was always very, very impressed with me and he was more interested to teach me more and more and he always encouraged me to sing more and more those days. But obviously when he taught me how to sing but it was never really taught in such a way that I am learning to sing, to become a singer. It was very a daily meditational practice that was being taught. Then he was more given in the learning of the essence, or the essential understanding of that whole spiritual practice rather than focusing technically on the way of singing.

　　And using melody in Buddhist practice as I learned is just a method that is used. Because melody or so called music in general has the ability to soothe a very disturbed mind. It is a language that can be understood by everybody regardless differences in our cultural background, differences in our languages that we speak, or places where we come from. So it’s the language that can be understood by every one of us. Melody has the power to please the ears of divine, human, animals, as well as nowadays I heard scientifically it’s pretty much proven that even the plants would grow more beautifully when they get to hear music.

　　So for that reason in monasteries we often perform ritual ceremonies in a very melodious way, musical way, in various melodious ways, depending on what particular purpose we are actually…but I’ve understood that the most important thing in everything that you do but before you do, your motivation towards it is the most important thing. How you prepare your attitude towards it, what is your motivation, and of course together with the help of music it helps you to invoke that particular emotion or that particular devotion that you are looking for or whatever you are pursuing for. I sing a lot of mantras also. Mantras are always pronounced in Sanskrit. Whether that is mantra cited in Tibet, or Nepal, or India, it is always supposed to be in Sanskrit. I learned that mantra is a two-word which means protection of mind. It protects your mind from negativity. It has the power to protect you from more than negative emotions. As our mind rides on a cycle of energy or breath which in Hindi we call it the prana of life, when we chant or recite mantras it helps us to purify the negative energy through it as we would nowadays call it detoxifying, detoxifying the negativity and recharge it with positive energy.

　　So as I was very much into my own spiritual practicing at the nunnery, one day an American musician happened to come to the nunnery where I used to live and he heard me singing and he developed the idea that we should work together. When he asked me what I think about it and I obviously went to my teacher and I asked him what he thinks about it and he said, go ahead, do it. It doesn’t matter whatever you sing, whoever listens to it, whether they believers or non-believers, doesn’t matter, they will still be benefited. So please go ahead.

　　So I did the work with him. And without much of an expectation I just did it just because he wanted me to do it. And surprisingly soon after the CD was launched I started receiving a lot of good feedback from people who listened to it. So soon I was invited to America to give a concert tour. And even at that time when I was invited to give the concert tour, more than the concert tour I thought OK I will get to see America, how it is, so that was main actual temptation to go to America to give the concert tour.

　　But soon after giving one and every concert I started receiving checks. And I thought wow I can make money! But then the question comes up was what do I do with the money now? I was happy about making money but then I didn’t know what I would do with the money. And then at the same there were interviews being taken by some media, papers, radios and others. So they happened to be asking me questions what are your dreams in your life? Then I started thinking, what is my dream? My dream or my really strong wish in my life since very young childhood time was to see women being empowered. Because I have seen since my childhood time, always seen the discrimination, very ignorant discrimination between son and daughter, and then the husband and wife, obviously the husband is always superior, the wife was always lower. Somehow even though I was a child, I often did not feel that it was fair. And then after I even entered the nunnery, in the monasteries I also saw the differences between monks being able to get very high academic opportunities in studies, but for nuns very, very rare for them the opportunities. And I used to admire the masters so much because they are so well educated. They are so kind and they are able to help people to understand to clear their confusions. So I used to feel and wish that I could also have that knowledge and that ability to help people to clear their confusions, which is the most wonderful thing to be able to do. And I wanted to understand why it is not possible. The only one reason is that the lack of proper opportunities of education for girls, and for nuns. And I said now I can fulfill my wish because I have money. But of course the truth is that it is not only the money that really has to play the role, but it is my strong desire my strong passion towards doing something about it of course and then secondary the money helped. And that’s why I started using all those money that I earned from music. I started spending them into establishing a school for nuns in Nepal.

　　Because in Nepal it’s just sad but the truth is that we still have people very ignorantly practicing patriarchy. They think higher academic education for girls is not so important as it is for boys. They think that the girls all they have to learn is how to cook, clean and serve. Of course poverty is one of the reasons and the other of course is ignorance. If some of the families might be able to afford to send their children to school, but they will always make the boys as the priority to go to school, not the girls. So I started encouraging, to spread the words around that I wanted to help those women who want to send their daughters to school and to give a good education. So I started with 7 students now I have 70 students who get absolutely free education and doesn’t matter how far they want to study, up to the level of university. Now I have three students studying in university in India, finishing their bachelor’s degree which is quite a proud feeling for me.

　　So the work has become more addictive to me and I am very addicted to this work. Now I also started taking care of old women who are abandoned by their children. Whatever I can do especially nowadays I am working on establishing a hospital, where women with kidney failure, or going through trouble (get help). Or some women who are in jail for not a good reason, they are being abused. I try to do little things here and little things there so that it makes me really happy. And to be very honest the music has been the most powerful tool in my life to help me fulfill my wish. But of course more than the music it’s the spiritual development that I have been able to bring in myself with the help of my teacher, my great master. The simple fact I understood is that we all, doesn’t matter we are male or female, children or grown-up, old or babies, we all want to be happy in life. We want to be comfortable in life. We want to be respected in life. We want to be loved in life. We don’t want to be cheated. We don’t want to be hated. We don’t want to be treated badly. So this is the simple universal fact that is true in each and every individual life of ours.

　　So based on that simple fact, what do we really want and how to achieve that? That’s the biggest question. We do different things in our lives, actually in order to achieve that particular wish that we have, to be happy in life. But a lot of the time we miss simple things. We don’t understand simple things. We always think that it should be big, big, big things to have to make us happy in our lives. But it’s the most simple thing in life, the simple, genuine, sincere smile from your heart. That’s the most simple thing you can do, doesn’t cost you money. That’s the most simple thing. Then you can do whatever you like. You can share.

　　One thing, it has been very, very proven through my life experience is that you don’t have to give up everything for the goodness of others. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. It can be the little things, little things in life that can create the moment of happiness that you can experience. And then you can do a little bit more, a little bit more, a little bit more, it’s a habit that we can develop. And that’s the happiness we can develop in ourselves, the way of living, the way of thinking, it’s just a habit that we can develop in our oneself. And that way will help us to experience the one that we are looking for. So actually in a simple language it’s your perception, your altitude, your motivation, that how you develop it.

　　Yesterday I was reminded by the respected professor that I should share this story with you, that is very special. The story about a great master in Tibet, a lady, known as Machig Lapdron (玛吉拉准). She was from the 11th century. This is a story about how she used special techniques to actually make the point in her teaching to her students. She had many, many students, and amongst her students two of her own sons were also her students. So one day she decided to train one of her sons. So she went out to look for a corpse, a dead human body. That is possible in Tibet because we don’t cremate. It’s like sky burial. So it’s possible to find. So she found one dead human body. She put it in a sack and closed it. She brought it home and she called her son, and passed that sack to him and said, here son, I want you to take the sack today and make it your pillow tonight when you sleep. And she told him there is a dead goat in it. So he thought OK he took the sack with him and he tried to sleep that night, making it his pillow. It’s just a dead goat, he thought. So he slept very well.

　　The next morning he went to see his mother. And the mother asked him, did you sleep well, my son? And he said “hen hao”. And then she prepared another sack before he came where actually she put a dead goat in it and tied it. And then she passed that sack with the dead goat in it to him and said, here, take this sack today. I want you to do the same thing as you did with the other, make it your pillow tonight when you sleep. But there is a dead human body in it. The moment when he was told there is a dead body in it, human body in it, he immediately had hesitation. A dead human body! But since she was not only the mother but also the master he could not refuse to do it. So he took the sack with him and he tried to sleep that night with it. But he could not sleep well. The next morning he went to see his mother. And then the mother asked him the same question, did you sleep well, my son? And he said “bu hao”. So of course mother understood why he could not sleep well. Then she asked him to open the sack, the sack that he was not able to sleep well with. And he opened the sack. And it was just a dead goat in it. Then she asked him to open the previous sack, the sack that he was able to sleep very well with. And then he opened that sack and found the dead human body. So you get it?

　　And I told the same story once in America, to some American audience. And I asked the same question at the end, did you get it? One man stood up and said, yes, I got it. And I asked him what did you get? And he said, that’s simple - it just says that you shouldn’t trust your mother! Same perception, you know.

　　The point that she was trying to make in this whole process is that how everything is created by your own mind, your own perception. He was able to sleep very well with a dead human body because whole night he was thinking that he is just sleeping with a dead goat. And he was not able to sleep well with a dead goat because whole night he was thinking, he was thinking that he is sleeping with a dead human body. So it’s so simple, isn’t it? So that’s the story. I hope you enjoyed it and the most important thing is that you understood the simple thing.

　　So we are human beings which is the most intelligent being in the world I would say. We can be so constructive. At the same time we can be the most destructive. And to make the choice, it’s very much simple. We all have common sense. That’s the simple thing we can use. Common sense, together with your intelligence, more and more development. It’s good to develop your intellectual capacity, very much. You are all so fortunate to be in such an academic institute to help you to develop your intellectual capacity but I feel that it’s really, really important not to forget to develop your spiritual capacity, too.

　　And develop your spiritual capacity doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to belong to a religious community. It’s just a simple thing that it’s to develop your human quality. The love, kindness, compassion that we talk about. Developing your intellectual capacity will definitely help you to really be in this very competitive world, nowadays so called the modern world, to do things smartly, and skillfully, and fastly. But the spiritual development, spiritual capacity development will help you to do whatever you do skillfully, smartly, or fastly, to be more meaningfully, wisely.

　　So I have not been able to develop so much of the intellectual capacity but I have had the opportunity to really learn how to develop more of the spiritual capacity and it has really, really helped me to be a happy human being. So I hope I made sense. And but if not, I am sorry to waste your time. But I believe that, there is a saying in Tibetan, when a stupid speaks, the intelligent gets an idea, so I hope you can take it that way.

　　My simple understanding in my life that has taught me to live my life, or to drive my life in a proper way, I should say, has been the understanding that you have to do whatever you do skillfully according to the time, place, and people. But the most important thing is to be kind and thoughtful. So I hope I made sense to you. And more than me talking now I think I would rather be more than happy if you want to ask me any questions and if I would be able to answer your questions, it would be more fun sharing.

　　Q&A Session

　　Q. I am a journalist from Music Weekly newspaper. I have three questions for you. First question is, considering you have nothing to do with human society because you are already a monk, how can you do that with your faith, I mean you used your money earned from your concert to give them to some women in Nepal, give them some education, how can you make that?

　　A. First of all, the idea that as a nun we have nothing with human society is absolutely wrong. Very wrong (I am sorry). Becoming a nun actually means I have taken every sentient being as my family member, the loved one, and I have responsibility towards them. And I wish the very best for them and I want them to be happy. And I have to do whatever I can do to fulfill that responsibility. That’s the altitude, first most important thing when becoming a nun. Even though it’s considered we are isolated but that’s not true.

　　Q. I apologize. Second question is, you are from Nepal and I can see from your lecture, it told us that it’s a country of men being in charge. And since you are going to help the women to give them some education, is there anyone who is against you?

　　A. Oh, no, no, no. There is nobody who is against me. It’s just that I am making a little more effort to help my sisters. But the whole issue in the world nowadays, women’s empowerment, women’s movement, gender equality, is there. But it’s not the responsibility of the government. It should come from each individual in the society. Then only the balance can be made. So I am just fulfilling my duty only. So the ignorance is there. I would not say people in our society still practicing very intentionally to dominate women. But it has been a habit since a long time. So it takes a little time to change that habit a little bit. Extreme things always create a little difficulty there. (Are they totally equal now?) No. It is not yet because it’s not only the men’s altitude we have to change. It’s our women’s altitude we have to change first. We have to develop our own self confidence. We have to realize our own potential. Until, and unless we do that within ourselves first, no matter how much men help us, you cannot be helped. But one thing I want to make clear that women’s empowerment doesn’t necessarily mean that women have to become aggressive. That’s a very wrong misunderstanding I can see in the world nowadays that women becoming more empowerment, it means we have to be tough and treat men wrongly. That’s wrong. That’s absolutely wrong. So that’s something I really want to (be) clear.

　　Q. Would you please tell us what’s your next plan for your music and the education of women in Nepal?

　　A. Well it has started. I mean it hasn’t been easy to start. But the challenging part is always the continuity and to make it better and better. That’s why I am continuing my concert tours around the world as much as possible, wherever I am invited. And I try to continue going. So my continuity in my work will always be there. (What about the education part?) Education part, of course the school is there. We wish to open up more and more schools in different parts of Nepal. That’s how it will be helpful. And especially having nuns being prepared with a proper academic education as well as the spiritual education, in the future I want them to go to their own villages and become operative in the society.

　　(Then there was a short discussion about the energy behind the sound of each word and whether it can be recognized, using the example of some mistranslation corrected by Ani just now. Ani agreed that it’s possible the sound of different words can carry varying energy but she corrected the interpreter just now only because she saw the expression on the faces of those people sitting in the front row.)

　　Q. 刚才演讲中您说到是在遇到一位美国的音乐家之后，在美国进行巡演得到了一笔钱之后您才有这个资金去完成您的梦想。那么我想问一下如果没有遇到这位音乐家，那时候你会如何去完成自己的这个梦想?是继续等待类似这样的机会还是做其它的行动？谢谢。

　　A. I don’t know.

　　Q. 在听完您的几乎所有专辑以后，您的音乐在早期和中期风格都是有变化的，早期刚开始的时候在Selwa这个专辑里面，有XX经文，到中期的Moment of Bliss和Smile, 可能混入了很多尼泊尔当地的一些民族音乐的风格，然后最新的专辑Inner Peace 可能又是有些改变。您是怎么看待这个变化的？

　　A. Style. Well, one thing it also depends on the composer. Of course, then the character of the song, theme of the song also makes a little difference. When I sing a mantra that whole attitude during I sing the mantra is different. When I sing a song in Nepalese, even though it is spiritual, this language is almost as if I am talking to her. Then I am trying to connect to her, human to human. The latest songs I am singing are spiritual songs for children. Then I have to speak a different language. So I think it’s human nature, who we are speaking to. When we speak, we try to connect to the divine energy, then you somehow feel very confident, you are fearless but of course humble. And sincerity and devotion are absolutely there. These are the main substance that really gives the main flavor to what you are singing. To make an impact, when we speak to a two year old child, you do baby talks. Then we make that impact to this child. When we speak to a little grown up person or when we speak to a really old man, let’s say 80 or 90 years old, we assume that he can’t hear properly, then we have to make it a little lauder. So we try to make sure that this person is getting the impact of what you want to say. So probably differences, changes in different ways of my singing is there.

　　Q. 刚才的讲座中我听到一点非常感兴趣，就是说最简单最核心的事实，我们为人的事实：人活着是为了追求快乐，而且也应该是为了追求快乐。但是在现实中有时真的会遇到很多悲伤或者难过。就是悲伤或者难过或者应该跟快乐是对等的，就是不可能只有快乐没有悲伤难过。而这种悲伤难过有时是必须要面对的，包括生离死别，还有不想丢失的东西让它丢失了。那么人类在追求这种快乐的时候，怎么看待这种悲伤和难过？这种悲伤和难过也是另外一种快乐吗？

　　A. Maybe we create that sadness ourselves. Sometimes we want to have something the way which it cannot (be). Let’s say we want the daytime all day, but nature works in a different way, the night comes. But we want day day day day day day day. It will not be working according to you. So you are unhappy because it did not happen the way you want. According to Buddhist teaching, it’s always very very helpful when you learn to change your perspective, and see from a different angle. It’s in one of my songs. It says “may I see the darkness of the moon in the brightness of the sun. May I hear the music of life even in the driest leaves.” It’s all about perception. If we listen, silence can be the most beautiful music. It’s our way of accepting things. For some people chili is the worst experience of the taste, but for some people chili is the most delicious and most exciting taste. So it’s just how we look at things and how we accept things. But sometimes it’s natural, human being, emotion is sometimes sadness, sometimes happiness. But sadness also can involve your happiness in certain experience. You just change the perception.

　　Q. Tibetan student asking in Tibetan.

　　A. I got you. I will answer his question in English, it’s easier and to save time. I understood his question. He asked me, usually in the Tibetan culture, the Himalayan culture I would say, because we also have people in Nepal, in the Himalayan region, we belong to the same culture. In the monasteries, monks and nuns obviously are isolated in the monasteries. We don’t have much opportunities to go out in the society and engage in social activities. But I have been around the world and actively engaged in social activities. So, he says, how can more monks and nuns get into such activities? And this depends on every individual monks and nuns for their understanding and their choice. You see, I had a great teacher who was very broad-minded. And to understand the time, to understand the situation, and to make your move accordingly, skillfully, probably that’s necessary. So in Nepal we do have more and more monks and nuns now getting more active into social activities. Because they are now slowly understanding what is more necessary. Because in older days in Tibet or Himalayan regions, people were very, very positive about monks and nuns all the time. They are very devoted. They believe in the holy life and they are very noble beings. But then ignorance…(saying something in Tibetan)… actually it’s not only the society’s fault. It’s not ignorance only. But then we have to tell you one reality, that sometime in a monastery life also we have the tendency of getting more ignorant. And the most dangerous arrogance that we developed is we are spiritual being, we are superior being, we must be respected, we must be offered all the comfort. So somehow people try to take refuge in the spiritual world, yet they are, also developed ignorance. But I see more and more monks and nuns coming out. For example, my students. They are now very actively every year organizing blood donation camp. They are going to orphanage cleaning their household, old aged home. They are cleaning. These are happening slowly. It’s changing. Nuns are getting more and more education. But, I think, one great master said, being monks and nuns can also contribute without being in social activities. Just being monks and nuns already helps population control. That’s a big help, too. Big contribution.

　　Q. 我们都知道作为一个佛教徒来说现在是末法时代，在末法时代里面我们看到了社会上有很多不好的现象，包括一些环保的问题，包括一些年轻人对待感情，对待生活一些不是特别负责任的态度。我作为一个年轻的女性佛教徒，我发现在我的生活当中我遇到了一些问题是我很难去从佛法出世和入世之间去面对的。比如说我们佛法普贤菩萨就说过要恒顺众生，那恒顺众生就要从恒顺自己的父母开始。有的时候从我们的生活和工作当中可能很难依法满足，包括满足包括父母的心愿，包括自己真正的意愿。我们相信只有柔弱感知，柔弱因为懂得所以慈悲。所以我想问的是作为女性，在现在这个时代中如何才能更好地去选择自己真正想要的生活而不被他人左右？谢谢。

　　A. First of all I don’t know what is your problem. Buddhism is not that complicated. To practice Buddhism is to be simple. It’s not about flying in the sky or going under the ground. Women problem is also not a problem. It’s all in our mind now. First of all we are human beings. That’s the most important. And as a human being, and especially being a beautiful lady, we have so much potential. Just try to be yourself. Be true to yourself. Don’t look for big answers. To see what you like. What others like around you.

　　Q. (To clarify the above question) Her wishes (are to find out) how to just follow exactly what the Buddha, these mantra say about those three things, listen to the parents, listen to what everybody says, and how to find a way for herself? Your answer is exactly (what) she needs.

　　A. Really. OK. Just to save time. What exactly Buddha said is, help if you can, others. If you can’t, at least not to cause any harm to any single being, including insects or anything. And control your heart, mind. That’s the basic teaching. And just use your common sense. That’s it. It will give you all the answers. Use your common sense. That’s it.

　　 (Due to the limited time it’s the end of Q&A. And Ani will sing a mantra for us.)

　　But before that, I would really like to say thank you to Professor Cao, thank you very much for making this event happen. First, the whole team of this whole music festival, for inviting me here, thank you very, very much. And more than that, I am very, very grateful towards you all for taking your very precious time to be with me. And I hope I will be able to give a good concert tomorrow. But to tell you the truth, more than the music, it’s about spirituality, what we all really need in life. And thank you very much. I feel so blessed, that you are so, lots of youths, lots of wonderful people are here to be with me. I am very thankful towards that. And I will sing a mantra, that you all will be happy to have. It’s the Ganesha mantra. Ganesha is worshipped by both Tibetan and Hindu tradition. It’s the God who brings lots of good fortune, and lots of auspiciousness in your life.

　　(End)

　　September 25, 2011 at Shanghai Conservatory of Music
　　 (Transcribed from video recording of the talk by FYM)